Wow, OK – so Amelia’s feeling better, though last weekend was AWFUL. She hardly slept because she was feeling so crummy and Tom was out of town and for three nights in a row I didn’t get more than 2 hours of sleep at a time. But then on Sunday night she miraculously felt better and didn’t wake up but twice all night. Sleep has been really good since then – for those of you keeping score (like the critic in my head), Amelia sleeps with us in our bed and nurses off and on at night, whenever she wakes up really. Or whenever she wakes me up, more appropriately – she could be waking up quietly and not letting me know, I suppose. Having her there in bed, close, makes it really easy for me to just quickly nurse her down every time she wakes at night, which allows me to get more sleep, and honestly I don’t have the stomach for the sleepless nights that would be necessary for night weaning. Tom lives in horror of the day I have to travel for business or something, but we’re both so comfortably in denial about it that the status quo is undisturbed, for now.

Which is not the subject of this post, actually. Thought I’d catch you up and then I went off on a tangent.

I’m kind of got the doldrums these days. Work is frantic and dull by turns, and frankly it’s worrying to be in construction right now. It’s particularly worrying when both your incomes are in the building sector. Bah. Amelia and I seem to be in a good pattern, and Tom and I are collaborating well in giving each other some independent time and spending some time together every month, more or less.

And that’s all I’ve got, honestly. Life has kind of boiled down into a minestrone of baby, work, eat, sleep, and sometimes chat with Tom. Going to the farmer’s market on a Saturday is a big fancy outing for me. We don’t have any money to speak of, so we’re having to be very careful with our expenditures – my workplace has cut its hours 10% and Tom still works part time so he can spend afternoons with Amelia – and that’s pretty soul-deadening too. I love my daughter and I love my husband and life seems a little… too tightly focused, lately.

How do other parents of young children deal with this? Or is this kind of what it’s like from now on? (Please say no, please say no…)