Some of our favorites:

Here’s a photo to keep your interest. More updates next week, unless we get really ambitious on Sunday!

I promised some folks at Montessori to post some updates as we traveled. It has been quite a trip so far. Our first milestone was realizing on the way home Tuesday I noticed Amelia had two little teeth poking up through her gums. Andrea and I both a little anxious for this milestone but I don’t know if was our preferred timing.

Getting out of Texas was tough in and of itself. We made it to Dallas no problem but after everyone was on the plane they realized the a/c was toast. So after an hour of fiddling with it we ended up getting off. They found us a new plane in another hour or two and we were off. Amelia was quite a trooper though it all. Only getting really fussy as we descended into Portland.

We spent the weekend on the coast at a great cabin in Netarts. Amelia splashed in the chilly Pacific ocean and got re-acquainted with her family here. We ate delicious fresh seafood and played in the sand.

Yesterday we visited the Hoyt Arboretum and The Rose Garden. Amelia loved tooling around in her stroller and touching the trees. She didn’t seem too impressed with the roses partly because she couldn’t walk around there.

Tomorrow is the zoo with her west coast boyfriends and possibly the Japanese gardens.

Is it wrong to be jealous?  I was looking through Facebook today and one of my friends posted something about her parents going on vacation for a couple of weeks.  The next sentence was asking about who wanted to do playdates or other activities.  The jest was since her family was away she’d be needing some help keeping the little one entertained. My jealousy comes from not having that luxury at all.  Another couple will have a grandmother living in the city soon too so they’ll have that delicious escape available almost any time.  The other side is having that resource of knowledge of raising kids.  Just someone to tell us we aren’t screwing up or that Amelia isn’t dying when she has a fever of 104.  Or someone that’s been there to tell us that we are doing a good job. We don’t and it makes me sad at times.

See my Mom passed away in 1993.  It happened quite suddenly on a Sunday morning while she was on the phone with a friend.  Those of you who knew her knew that she loved kids.  All kinds of kids.  From little babies to toddlers to even teenagers.  Granted my brother and I weren’t model kids as teenagers, me especially.  But she loved us with all her heart and loved to provide anything she could for us. She was a strong and smart woman too.  She left her parents house on her own long before that was a normal thing to do.  She made her own living and didn’t really have any interest in marrying for security from what I can gather.  She married my dad cause she loved him and he was a good man.  Not cause she needed a man to be happy.  They got married when she was 34 and I arrived about a year later.  In 1968 this was somewhat of a big deal, having a kid at 35 and another at 37.

When Siri was born she was the first girl in our immediate family on the Hinze side.  Before that it was 8 boy cousins.  Sure there is extended family with 2nd and 3rd cousins.  But this was the first niece she had.  I was in high school, Otis wasn’t far behind me.  Most of the family was done having kids really.  Heath was the youngest cousin up to that point and he was in junior high.  At 52 years old my Mom’s grandmother instincts kicked in when Siri was born.  And apparently it was contagious ’cause Dad got bit too.

They would have Siri over for the weekend, take her to the zoo, Mom would make her doll clothes and tea sets.  Dad taught her how to paint.  Thing was you could see on my Mom’s face the joy she got out of doting on a little girl.  Both Otis and I knew she would go nuts when we had kids.  I had decided when I was about 20 that I was definitely going to have kids before I reached 35.  Fate laughed at that one and I bet is still laughing.

So our daughters, mine and Otis’, won’t know about her except for stories.  How she would spend a good part of November baking for the entire holiday season.  That you would never go to her house and not find some cookies or sweets of some sort.  Amelia won’t get to sleep under one of the beautiful quilts she made just for her.  Mom won’t be making a tea set, doll clothes or little girl clothes for her.  Amelia won’t have my Mom to teach her how to bake, not that Andrea and I can’t teach her that.

But what gets me on the day to day stuff is I can’t call Mom up and ask her why? how? and what am I supposed to do?  Andrea and I can’t just let Amelia spend a weekend with her grandparents.  Don’t get me wrong.  Andrea’s family is great and they all love Amelia to pieces.  Her family is an added extra special bonus to being married to her.  George and Mary are awesome grandparents and will be a big part of Amelia’s life.  But the 3000 or so miles makes it a little difficult to have a sleep over.  And my Dad will love and spoil her just like he’s done with my niece.

I’m just jealous we don’t have that cushion of family near by to help and support and reassure.  And I guess I’m here to remind all of you that do, be thankful.  Having your family close and available as your little one grows is a blessing beyond measure.

Amelia is not what I understand to be an “easy baby.” I don’t know what it would be like to parent such an animal, but here at Chez Wigglet, Amelia is frequently Hard To Please. Granted, she’s in nowhere NEAR the bad mood she was in during The Colic Months, but she still has high standards and still gets really fussy for no damn good reason. Plus, she’s… outspoken.

Of course, no one sees this but Tom, me, and her teachers. In “public,” Amelia is 99% coos, sighs, giggles and calm. Drives us both slightly up the fucking wall, I can tell you – though I would be mortified if she were as high maintenance out in the world as she is at home.

I will fess up to the possibility that Tom and I are huge sissies, unable to stomach even 5 minutes of a crying baby after all those months of inconsolable sobbing. So maybe the monkeys are flying the plane at our house, it’s fully possible, I admit it. We don’t know how else to parent her and keep our sanity, so we mostly just try to keep her happy without killing ourselves. As a colleague tells me with a weary intensity: “You do what you have to, to survive.”

Grim, huh? Yeah, I have a LOT more ego than I thought I did before I handed my life over to the care and feeding of the little tyrant.

All of which is completely off topic – what I am really posting about is how Amelia gives Tom such a hard time so many afternoons. When she gets fussy and Tom is caring for her, she has this weird thing about him having to hold her and walk around with her. He can’t put her down, or sit down while he is holding her, without her starting to fuss. Hours of this.

And then I get home, and it’s all smiles and squeals – which is cool cuz I got the jooce, we all know how that works – except then after Amelia gets her snack, she will sit on my lap and be rocked, or stand by her “pond” and play while I walk away or get a bite to eat or whatever. Which she practically NEVER lets Tom do. And I know from experience, it rankles after a while.

She’s starting to get a sense of object permanence, meaning she now will get some separation anxiety when one of us leaves, or she’ll cry when a toy is taken away from her, but the “dance, Daddy, dance” routine is older than that, and it’s disappointing that she’s still doing it. Especially considering the sacrifices we make to have her with Tom in the afternoons. Is she anxious when it’s just her and him? why would she be, after all this time? Why is she so much more relaxed with me, when I spend less time with her?

Any thoughts? If you could solve this for us, it would totally make our week.

We had a lovely weekend, partying with the DeBusks and getting the house ship-shape. The latter was de rigeur due to the fact that Amelia’s school is out this week – so we hired a babysitter to care for her during the week. It’s terrifying to realize that a relative stranger is not only going to care for your daughter for a week, but also be alone in your house, which hasn’t been properly cleaned for almost 8 months!

Of course, we put things off to the last minute and so were up until 11 pm or so, quite late for new parents. But then, of course Amelia let us sleep in – we were up only 15 minutes before Jennifer arrived! Poor thing, what could she have thought of us, Tom barely awake, though at least dressed – I was rushing around the house in my robe with a towel on my head!

Amelia actually took 2 naps with Jennifer, 2 more than we thought she would take, though she was pretty darned fussy and tired when I got home. She ate badly too, and needed to be held A LOT, which harkens back the the bad old days of C-O-L-I-C. Sleepy and whiny hours before bedtime, but hard to get to sleep – definitely feeling off her game!

It’s impressive to me how much the smallest of children thrive on routine. I must say, I miss our usual patterns as well – seeing Amelia at lunchtime as I do when she’s at school really lets me de-stress and reconnect with what’s truly important. And even when I know precisely why Amelia isn’t falling asleep easily, or sleeping well, I still find myself questioning my mothering abilities – and getting miserably tense.

Jennifer is perfectly capable, don’t get me wrong – but I’ll be really pleased when school is back in session and we can all get back into our well-worn grooves.

The Middleton-Whitehead clan visited the DeBusks last Saturday and had big fun, New Parents Style. It involved a lot of admiring babies, chatting about babies, changing diapers, chatting about diapers, complaining about Texas heat, lots of nursing on the parts of Andrea and Vicki and some errand-running on the parts of Tom and David.

Elijah and Amelia hit it off in the way only a 1-month-old and a 7-month-old can: they looked at each other with interest for about five minutes, sat mildly still for photos, and then got carried off to other, respectively age-appropriate amusements. Amelia played on Elijah’s play mat and Elijah slept, pooped, nursed, and pooped some more. It was pretty fun.

Oh! And they’re both wearing outfits bought for them by cool friends. Thanks, Auntie Becky, for bringing back a onesie from the RC Cola & Moon-Pie Festival in Bell Buckle, TN!

I was sleeping late on Saturday, mentally trying to remember all that needed to get done.  Your mom and I were quickly running out of time but knew what we wanted to get done before your arrival.  That day we were returning some items back to Scot & Maureen, doing some final baby shopping and were going to have dim sum with the Blases.  I heard my phone ring and saw that it was your Grandpa Barney and figured I’d wait a bit before really waking up.  Your Mom was up already fooling around in the living room.  Or so I thought.

I really woke up when I heard her call GB, our midwife, and tell her that she thought her water had broke.  I quickly got dressed and went out to see what was going on.  Apparently you had other plans for us Miss Amelia and you were ready to see us now!  Your mom was very worried.  Andrea was worried that she hadn’t had contractions, and that something was wrong.  Just the day before we had talked to Amanda, momma’s doula, and decided she would be a great help when you arrived.  We had no idea we would be needing Amanda’s help so early.  I was worried too.  This was going to be a busy day or two I thought and I wasn’t prepared.  There were so many things I had wanted to do before you arrived.  But we rallied our friends and made ready for you to arrive.  I also wanted to make sure I helped Andrea as much as possible, I hoped I was up for the task.

Josh and Jessica helped us by getting your diapers and helped set up your new room. Becky came out and cleaned up the kitchen from top to bottom.  Carol came out and finished cleaning the guest bathroom.  Your mom and I went for a walk.  We did all of this running around trying to get ready for your arrival.  But as the day wore on everything slowed down considerably.  That worried us because we knew because of the amneotic fluid we didn’t have lots of time before you had to be born.  At 7pm Amanda, our doula, came over and discussed plans, she was prepared to stay with us for the evening.  At 9pm GB came by to check on us and talk about what we would needed to do to induce your arrival if things didn’t progress.

Your mom and I slept fitfully over the night.  Andrea woke up early and let me sleep until about 6am.  She had taken some castor oil to help with the contractions but couldn’t keep it down.  Amanda arrived around 9 and I ran into town for some coffee and some last minute supplies.  I wanted to make sure we had plenty of castor oil if needed and make sure that we had everything we needed for your arrival.  I bought some new towels so if we used all we had for you we’d still have some clean ones.  I picked up soup for your mom and anything else I thought we might need, baby wipes, etc. When I got back Andrea started taking some herbs to induce labor and we mixed up some castor oil with grapefruit juice so she could drink it.

Around noon GB did some acupuncture and suggested your mom keep busy.  So, as a labor project, she cleaned out and organized our pantry.  I did my best to keep busy by working on your bedroom but I was hoping you would arrive soon.  I wanted to do something to help but all there was to do was help your mom and wait.  Around 2:30 GB says I could get the tub ready for your mom.  So I started filling it.  I wasn’t sure how well it would work but my apparatus for filling the tub held up and I kept an eye on it.  Around 3pm Andrea got into the tub to help ease some of the pain.  She got out about an hour later and layed down on the bed.  Her contractions were about 2 minutes apart so we were thinking you would be here sometime that evening.  But you had other plans.

Around 5:30 your mom got back into the tub and needed some support to stay in the position she liked.  We tried a couple of towels under her but she really wanted me in there.  I pulled off my shirt and shoes, removed everything from my pockets and got in with my jeans on.  Andrea gets out to walk around, I change pants and walk with her around the house.  We try going outside to get some fresh air, we walk around the house, we do everything we can think of to help get you into our arms.  At 8 that evening we get back in bed to rest a bit.  Around 9, GB talks about what is going on and what we need to do and the possibility of going to the hospital.  We didn’t want to go to the hospital but we knew that if things didn’t start moving we would have to.  Your mom was running out of energy but her body wasn’t allowing you to come down. Your Auntie Jane showed up around 11pm but neither of us could say hello, we were busy trying to bring you into our world.

For the next 5 hours or so we tried everything to get you past this point.  Amanda, Sarah (GBs assistant), GB and I all did things to help.  Your mom and I marched around the tub like sumo wrestlers to get you to moved.  GB had examined your mom and said that you were trying to get past the cervix but it just wasn’t working out.  GB decided around 4am that you needed fluids and rest.  Sarah prepared an IV and got ready to get it connected to your mom.  It took her 4 tries to get it because your mom’s veins were hiding.  But we laid down and tried to rest.  It wasn’t easy.  Contractions were a few minutes apart and neither of us could sleep through them.  We were worried and tired and hopeful. There were times that I would cry because your mom was working so hard and keeping up such good spirits through it all.  I hope you will know how brave your mother is, I saw it during these hours and was amazed by her power.

We got up around 6 and started again.  Andrea worked so hard to push through but her body was tired and she couldn’t get any rest.  Around 7:30am we decided we needed to go to the hospital so your mom could get some rest and prepare to push you into the world.  We were scared but we both were sure it was the best thing to do.  We had other plans but we didn’t think of them at the time, you were much more important than any plans we had had.

Once the decision was made it was a whirlwind of activity to get things together.  It was a little chilly outside but I was in shorts and flip flops.  We bundled your mom up in her robe, a night shirt and some shoes.  I frantically grabbed items to put in a bag.  Loaded up your baby seat into Jane’s rental car and the three of us headed out, GB, Amanda and Sarah were following behind us.  Jane drove as fast as she could but it was almost rush hour and we hoped a police officer would stop us and then escort us in.  We weren’t that lucky but didn’t have much trouble getting to the hospital.

As soon as we arrived I found a wheel chair for your mom, and made my way to the maternity ward per GBs instructions.  I got a little lost but we made it and they found us a room really quick.  We were quickly introduced to Linda Truesdell, our nurse, and she got us checked in and mobilized everyone in the hospital to help us out.  We got there by 8:30 and by 10am another doctor came by to give your mom an epidural.  The doctor had to administer the medicine right into her spine but to get the needle right your mom had to be in a very specific position and be very still.  This wasn’t easy to do, even without being pregnant, but your mom did a fantastic job.  The doctor was even empressed. It wasn’t long before your mom was getting some much needed rest.  I went outside for a little break, and I called your PawPaw Barney and told him you would be here soon, called your Aunt Adrienne to give her an update too because she was worried.  And I cried a bit, away from everyone.  I was very tired, as was your mom, but I was very proud of how hard she had worked and how she had not given up at all.  I was hoping everything would be ok and a little bit scared. I slept for a little bit after updating everyone.  I called Josh and asked him to get me some extra clothes and check on the cats.

Around noon your mom woke up from a nap and was determined have you soon.  Linda checked and was told us that all was going well and that Andrea would be pushing soon.  Around 1pm she said it was time so your mom started pushing.  I held her hand and encouraged her as much as possible.  Your mom was doing a fantastic job and I couldn’t help but cry a time or two.  We both wanted you in our arms so much and could barely wait to see you.  By 2:15pm you were ready to come into the world but we had to wait for the doctor to arrive.  Andrea didn’t want to wait but we waited just a minute or two.  The doctor got ready and Andrea pushed 2 or 3 more times and before we knew it you were in her lap.  I cut your umbilical cord and patted your back.

The nurses needed to weigh you and check a couple of things.  So I went with you over to the scale and talked to you while they checked you out.  You were a little blue so they gave you just a bit of oxygen.  You pinked up quickly and I kept my hands on you the whole time.  I wanted to make sure you were safe.  It was a long journey to get you there and I wanted to make sure you weren’t lonely. As soon as they were done we went back to your mom where you laid on her chest and tried nursing for the first time.

You were healthy and right there in our arms.  We couldn’t believe it.  We both cried a few tears of joy.  After a try at nursing I got you and held you next to my bare chest.  You were the most precious thing in the world and I couldn’t believe that you were actually here, in my arms.  I whispered all the things I was going to teach you and all the fun things we’ll do.  You won’t remember those but I’ll keep them none the less.

Later that day we moved into another room, Josh and Jessica came by with supplies and clothes.  We got a bite to eat and we learned all about you.  What your cry sounded like, that we needed to burp you, how often you liked to eat.  We called our family and told them you were here and that you were healthy.  You weighed 6 lbs. and 7 oz., were 19 1/4″ long and had a good head of dark brown hair, and deep blue eyes.  We know a lot of those things (well all of them probably) will change but you are the most beautiful, precious thing in our world.  We are determined to do everything in our power to give you a healthy, interesting life.  We’ll make mistakes and I’m sure you’ll be upset with us at some point but know that you are loved from this point forward by quite a few people besides me and your mom.

Welcome to the world, have fun and enjoy every delicious moment of it.

Andrea and I are planners. We had planned when we would conceive, when the baby would be born, what we would do for the first few years, how we would handle child care, etc.

Of course Mother Nature has her own time line. We started in December last year with hopes of having a kiddo around the same time as our birthdays, planning to make September our super month of celebration. (Andrea’s b-day is in the beginning of the month, mine in the middle and our anniversary at the end, not to mention ACL fest, Labor Day, etc.) I also thought it would be good to have some dual citizenship history so we did make an effort for the bean to get started in Oregon. My thinking was that she would have claim to two great states that way… conceived in Oregon, born in Texas. But nature didn’t cooperate or just wanted to let us know who was boss. (more…)