It’s a worrisome fall to be the parent of a young child, even when you try not to be an alarmist. Flu season has hit Austin early and hard, resulting in “flu triage” tents outside of emergency rooms.

So when Amelia came down with a fever with sinus congestion and a cough at midnight on Thursday, I worked very hard not to freak out. I called the nurse at our family practice and talked to her about Amelia’s symptoms to see what her recommendation would be. She told me what to look for as far as “worsening symptoms” go, and told me to nurse as much as possible, and encourage Amelia to rest. Heh.

Amelia was in good spirits most of the time Friday and Saturday, and her fever was pretty easily controlled by ibuprofin. She slept badly both at night at for naps, but hell – she’s teething, almost walking and has sinus congestion that makes her snore like a lumberjack – who would sleep well in those conditions? On Saturday I nursed her for a solid two hour nap, which I’m thinking put the lid on the whole virus. She hasn’t had a fever all day today, which is awesome because both Tom and I need to take Friday off for ACL Fest and it would be awkward to have to take Monday too!

I hope this was H1N1, honestly, because then it’s behind us and she’s only at risk for one strain of influenza for the rest of the season. Again, I try not to be alarmist, but then her school puts out a pamphlet from the State on how a 3 year old came down with the flu, went to the doctor, got on antivirals, laid down for a nap… AND DIED. This is to get me to immunize my kid against flu. I am still only 50% convinced about getting Amelia a flu shot, but I am now certainly scared out of my wits about her getting the flu! Thanks, State of Texas. Glad to know my property taxes are touching my life in such a personal way. Gah.

We did get a fair amount of work done this weekend on the house; Tom steam cleaned the living room carpet, and made some crazy-delicious pulled pork on the smoker. High volumes of laundry were done, and we did some deep cleaning in the guest bathroom and the kitchen. I filed about 5 months of mail. We had a nice visit with Tom’s dad, who decided this morning that he wanted to drive up and see his granddaughter. All in all, it was a good weekend, though it would have been better with fewer sick infants and more dates celebrating our wedding anniversary. But Amelia’s better and no one will be writing a pamphlet about us, so I’m thanking heaven for small favors.

So a neighbor couple we’re friends with had a baby about 4 months ago, and they’re going to look into hiring a nanny. We’ve been discussing a nanny share arrangement for a while now, in fact. We have similar parenting styles (on the AP side, no TV, etc), so I think we’d want the same things from a caregiver.

And now Tom and I are quite torn – in fact, we’re nigh paralyzed with indecision – so I thought I’d solicit the magical intertubes for additional opinions. (As a parent I have learned that additional opinions are wonderfully interesting, if frequently helpful only to make one feel guilty about not following one or another camp’s advice. Not dissing you, just saying – there’s always a way to castigate yourself after the fact, and I usually find it.)

Current daycare PROS:
awesome program
fabulous teachers
I visit at lunchtime to nurse Amelia
close to work in case of emergency or routine dr appointments
3:1 student teacher ratio
fun toys
good for pushing milestones (we’re bad at that)
older kids to help Amelia learn from example

Current daycare CONS:
hella expensive, for us
Amelia spends 1-1.5 hours a day in the car
lots of exposure to colds, etc – Amelia gets sick a lot and then we have to stay home from work unexpectedly which sucks
there has been a lot of teachers moving through Amelia’s classroom in the past few months – I’d like it better if she could mostly work with just one or two

Nannyshare PROS:
less expensive – maybe, possibly just barely reasonable enough for us to have another kid without having to quit one job
Amelia spends less time in the car
only one other kiddo to share germs with
more adult attention (2:1 ratio, not 3:1)

Nannyshare CONS:
no nursing at lunchtime – I wouldn’t see her from 7ish to 5ish, ack!
paying someone to care for Amelia during our commute time
farther drive home in case of emergency or dr appointments
only the developmental toys we currently own or might buy in the future – don’t laugh, it adds up and we’re ignorant
no older kids for Amelia to draft behind, development-wise

What do you think? The lack of lunchtime visits is a big con for me, honestly, and I would even miss dropping her at school every morning, though I bet Tom wouldn’t miss her crying all the way home half the time. Her school is such a good one, with really dedicated, wise teachers, that I wouldn’t even consider another school – but who knows what kind of awesome nanny we might find?

Argh. Thoughts?

While I fall down on the job on unimportant parenting tasks like setting regular meal or nap times, I have already started a mini-family tradition with Amelia: Foodie Church! On Saturday mornings we sleep as late as Amelia wishes (sometimes as late as SEVEN-THIRTY) and then we try our best to get to the Sunset Valley Farmer’s Market by 9 am.

We go armed with a list, of course, as ours is a frugal household that can’t afford to spend $5 for four fresh, local figs just because they’re fresh and local. So mostly we buy staples, but even at the market we have our routine: first we make a recon round, checking on what’s there and what’s new, and who has the prettiest produce for the lowest prices. This market is rich in organic, pastured meats, but our household does not dine on $35 chickens - so we keep to the green grocers, even eschewing the fresh mushroom stall and the goat milk & cheese stalls. This week we bought peppers, onions, roma tomatoes, a huge canteloupe, and an eggplant. Usually I treat myself to a small bag of kettle corn. When Amelia gets old enough, I might even share.

After our trip to the market, we go to the grocery store for the rest of our staples. Even though Amelia is big enough to sit in the cart these days, I keep her in the Ergo baby carrier when we shop because that way I can maneuver in the crowded store without worrying about the cart. More importantly, it allows me to keep a running conversation with her about our shopping trip, which might go something like this:

“what’s next on the list… oh, shall we get Daddy some cookies? Do you see the kind he likes, with the chocolate chips? I don’t see them! Oh, there they are – good eye!… don’t let me forget the honey – we have to go back for it because I forgot it once already – oh, those plums look nice, don’t they? Let’s get some… not too hard but not too soft… I think four is enough… what else do we need? We bought onions at the market… we have potatoes at home… what looks good in the fish case?” Every so often a fellow shopper overhears our conversation and glances twice, but I flatter myself that it’s no more irritating than someone talking into a hands-free device as they walk along, effectively talking to a phantom. Plus, it keeps Amelia soothed and quiet.

By the time we get home from our errands, Amelia’s usually overdue for a nap, so I have to rush the groceries in the house, rush the frozen things into the freezer, and let the rest of the bags rusticate on the counter or the kitchen floor while I nurse her down to a nap. If the whole day is free, we’ll spend the afternoon in the kitchen together – her in her exersaucer and me at the counter. To keep her somewhat engaged, I’ll sing along to whatever music suits our (my) fancy that day – this weekend it was barbershop quartet stuff on Pandora. Bless you, interwebs, slave to my every musical whim!

I love Saturdays.

Wow, OK – so Amelia’s feeling better, though last weekend was AWFUL. She hardly slept because she was feeling so crummy and Tom was out of town and for three nights in a row I didn’t get more than 2 hours of sleep at a time. But then on Sunday night she miraculously felt better and didn’t wake up but twice all night. Sleep has been really good since then – for those of you keeping score (like the critic in my head), Amelia sleeps with us in our bed and nurses off and on at night, whenever she wakes up really. Or whenever she wakes me up, more appropriately – she could be waking up quietly and not letting me know, I suppose. Having her there in bed, close, makes it really easy for me to just quickly nurse her down every time she wakes at night, which allows me to get more sleep, and honestly I don’t have the stomach for the sleepless nights that would be necessary for night weaning. Tom lives in horror of the day I have to travel for business or something, but we’re both so comfortably in denial about it that the status quo is undisturbed, for now.

Which is not the subject of this post, actually. Thought I’d catch you up and then I went off on a tangent.

I’m kind of got the doldrums these days. Work is frantic and dull by turns, and frankly it’s worrying to be in construction right now. It’s particularly worrying when both your incomes are in the building sector. Bah. Amelia and I seem to be in a good pattern, and Tom and I are collaborating well in giving each other some independent time and spending some time together every month, more or less.

And that’s all I’ve got, honestly. Life has kind of boiled down into a minestrone of baby, work, eat, sleep, and sometimes chat with Tom. Going to the farmer’s market on a Saturday is a big fancy outing for me. We don’t have any money to speak of, so we’re having to be very careful with our expenditures – my workplace has cut its hours 10% and Tom still works part time so he can spend afternoons with Amelia – and that’s pretty soul-deadening too. I love my daughter and I love my husband and life seems a little… too tightly focused, lately.

How do other parents of young children deal with this? Or is this kind of what it’s like from now on? (Please say no, please say no…)

OK, wow on many counts. First, that there was a Free To Be You And Me movie. Next, that it’s all on YouTube. And finally, that it included a teenaged Micheal Jackson singing about how “we don’t have to change at all” with Roberta Flack in “When We Grow Up.”

Amelia pulls herself up!

I’ve always thought of myself as a slightly heartless person. I was cynical from a ridiculously young age, though my face has always been fairly sympathetic – motherly when I hit my 30s. Despite my “cara de pureza,” as my students used to call it, I have mostly spent my life as a wry observer of life, apart and therefore somewhat unfeeling.

What has surprised me this year is the extent to which my heart has been cracked open by motherhood. Though still slightly terrified by the strength of my love for Amelia, I’m finally starting to take it a little more in stride… what’s ridiculous is how tender-hearted I’ve become! I can barely stand to hear about sick babies, and change the channel from NPR when they talk about children dying or families being torn apart. News stories that didn’t make me blink a year ago now send me into miserable imaginings of how horrible it would be to have my grown daughter stoned to death in Iran, or how I would feel if my child died when her school collapsed in an earthquake. Isn’t that hideously morbid? Why even go there, right?

I suppose that for me 2008 was a year in which I started learning the power of kindness and positivity. I took some risks, decided to try being optimistic (though I spent much of my time ranging between nervous of and terrified by that optimism) and generally set myself on the path of being open. I guess I didn’t realize how sentimental I really was, under all that sarcasm. I definitely remember thinking it was just dumb old hormones.

Does anyone have advice on how to be find the balance between laconic curmudgeon and teary-eyed sentimentalist? This getting misty at Hallmark commercials has GOT to stop!

So next week the Wigglet’s school (daycare – calling it school makes me feel better – though for the record it is a Montessori school) is closed next week. We neglected to plan our vacation around the school’s vacation, as would be sensible, so we had to find a babysitter for her next week. Ear infections and such have whittled our shared PTO days down to the red line.

The bright spot in this situation is that today, when both Tom and I had the day off, Amelia’s school was open! So we dropped her off and had a baby-free day from 7 to 5!

I needed some Andrea time, so I took the morning to myself – had a nice breakfast at Magnolia Cafe, did some writing on the laptop, and then got my hair cut. A lot of my hair cut. Can you be a soccer mom if your kid doesn’t play soccer?

I’m kidding – I really like the cut and hope that it will be easier to style, adding precious moments to my morning, and that I will be able to get my ass in to the salon more often than once a quarter to keep it trimmed. The stylist at Wet was quite hesitant to cut it this short – evidently she had had a bad experience or two with people who were lying when they said “I want a pixie cut” – but I can go shorter if I want to… if I can get my ass back in the salon before Labor Day!

Amelia recognized me even with short hair.

Tom and I saw a matinee at the Alamo this afternoon – Away We Go, which we really enjoyed. Whatshername who was in Idiocracy was MUCH better in this, and the guy from the American version of The Office reminded me of Jason Hill a bit. In a good way.

Tomorrow, it’s Fourth of July festivities at the DeBusks! Do we stay long enough to watch the fireworks? It’s WAY past Amelia’s bed time, and then we’ll have the drive home and all that. Is it dumb to slavishly follow bedtimes? Should we just go with the flow and resign ourselves to her sleeping little and poorly as a result?

So the little one is 20 lbs of hot love now, and her legs hang out of her baby carrier car seat, which is only rated to 22 lbs. (Who rates these things? How do they do it? Is it like an Olympic committee, or a dissertation board?)

Thus, a milestone is established: baby’s first Big Girl Car Seat. We would have bought her two Britax Marathons if we were made of money – or even just financially comfortable – but we’re not, so we did a lot of research and then did some more and finally bought two Evenflo Triumph seats from Amazon. They each arrived in boxes big enough to hold dishwashers, and Tom did his Handy Dad thing and installed them.

Amelia definitely noticed a difference, but still fell asleep on the way in to school this morning, albeit with her head lolling forward. I was able to snap this iPhoto when we arrived, as she was just waking up.

Additional firsts today include first taste of avocado (verdict=yummy) and first visit to meet the new addition to our neighbors the Weavers’ family: 2 week old Atticus. Amelia is getting so big! It’s hard to believe she was ever a tiny 7-pounder.

So I’ve been fighting PPD and we’ve been driving All Over Hell And Gone and this is our first weekend at the house and none of that is any excuse but those are SOME reasons that you’ve not heard any Tales of The Wigglet in a damn long while.

What have you missed?  Oy.

Amelia now attends a Montessori school from 7-2 every day, and we’re very happy with the care she gets there.  The student-teacher ratio is 3:1, and all the teachers in her group are lovely women who are very caring and loving and patient.  She gets lots of kisses every day, and gets to watch older babies eat and crawl and play.  School is close enough to my office that I can drive there every day at lunch to nurse, and then Tom has her in the afternoons until I get home around 5.

Amelia got her first taste of solid food on her 7-month birthday, and  is now eating pretty well, about once a day.  She has tried brown rice cereal & oatmeal, both mixed wuth breastmilk, and will guide the spoon into her mouth with her hand on my hand. It’s pretty cute!  Next on the rotation is sweet potatoes and then probably some yellow squash.

She’s still babbling up a storm, and is on a big “Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma” kick right now, which warms my  heart for sure.  She is getting used to holding herself up in a standing position, and will stay on her hands and knees for a few seconds, trying to remember how the older kids do it.  I think she’s also considering slipping a nap, which causes much consternation.

This morning we let Tom sleep in for Father’s Day and sat outside to enjoy the morning cool.  Mary will be excited to know that Amelia watched the barn swallows swoop around (we have another nest with hatchlings by the kitchen door) with great accuracy and interest.  Amelia is sure to be a biologist or botanist, I am thinking.

Below, a documentary pic of Amelia’s birthday meal: