So a neighbor couple we’re friends with had a baby about 4 months ago, and they’re going to look into hiring a nanny. We’ve been discussing a nanny share arrangement for a while now, in fact. We have similar parenting styles (on the AP side, no TV, etc), so I think we’d want the same things from a caregiver.

And now Tom and I are quite torn – in fact, we’re nigh paralyzed with indecision – so I thought I’d solicit the magical intertubes for additional opinions. (As a parent I have learned that additional opinions are wonderfully interesting, if frequently helpful only to make one feel guilty about not following one or another camp’s advice. Not dissing you, just saying – there’s always a way to castigate yourself after the fact, and I usually find it.)

Current daycare PROS:
awesome program
fabulous teachers
I visit at lunchtime to nurse Amelia
close to work in case of emergency or routine dr appointments
3:1 student teacher ratio
fun toys
good for pushing milestones (we’re bad at that)
older kids to help Amelia learn from example

Current daycare CONS:
hella expensive, for us
Amelia spends 1-1.5 hours a day in the car
lots of exposure to colds, etc – Amelia gets sick a lot and then we have to stay home from work unexpectedly which sucks
there has been a lot of teachers moving through Amelia’s classroom in the past few months – I’d like it better if she could mostly work with just one or two

Nannyshare PROS:
less expensive – maybe, possibly just barely reasonable enough for us to have another kid without having to quit one job
Amelia spends less time in the car
only one other kiddo to share germs with
more adult attention (2:1 ratio, not 3:1)

Nannyshare CONS:
no nursing at lunchtime – I wouldn’t see her from 7ish to 5ish, ack!
paying someone to care for Amelia during our commute time
farther drive home in case of emergency or dr appointments
only the developmental toys we currently own or might buy in the future – don’t laugh, it adds up and we’re ignorant
no older kids for Amelia to draft behind, development-wise

What do you think? The lack of lunchtime visits is a big con for me, honestly, and I would even miss dropping her at school every morning, though I bet Tom wouldn’t miss her crying all the way home half the time. Her school is such a good one, with really dedicated, wise teachers, that I wouldn’t even consider another school – but who knows what kind of awesome nanny we might find?

Argh. Thoughts?

I am in pretty good with Amelia’s teachers at the Montessori school, seeing as I’m there every day to nurse Amelia at lunchtime. I get all sorts of great stories about the cuteness that Amelia perpetrates at school while I’m off marketing my silly old construction company.

Two of the best ones, lately:

All the kids were outside with their teachers: Amelia’s class and the class older than hers. Miss Cortney, who is a younger teacher in Amelia’s class, was hula-hooping to show some of the older kids how it’s done. Well, Amelia thought that hula-hooping was just. utterly. hilarious. She started laughing, slapping her knees with her hands, and laughed so hard, that she leaned back, lost her balance, and fell over backward – still laughing uncontrollably. Even after Miss Cortney stopped with her crazy hula-hooping craziness, Amelia sat and periodically laughed to herself, as if she was remembering a funny joke. “Heh, hula hoops. Heh! Hilarious.”

Just yesterday, Amelia was one of only two kids in the classroom with Miss Cortney (the other morning teacher is on vacation in Columbia). When I finished nursing her, the other little boy was getting his lunch – black beans and avocado – so I put Amelia down in the other seat at the table and left. Miss Cortney told me today that Amelia was squealing and slapping her hands on the table so much, clearly enjoying herself but agitated, that Cortney thought to offer her some avocado as well. (It was avocado that I had brought from home.) So Amelia and L sat at the infant-sized table with their teacher, both eating avocado, and had a long conversation together. First Amelia would babble along, and then L would babble and gesture, and then Amelia would respond. They never spoke over each other, and seemed by all accounts to be discussing something quite entertaining. Needless to say, kids their age rarely hold conversations, so Cortney thought it was pretty remarkable, to say nothing of the adorable.

I’m aware I miss out on things when I leave Amelia at school, but it’s lovely to at least get regaled with the fun happenings rather than not knowing at all what she gets up to.

We have the funnest baby in the whole world. She just gets more fun and charming the older she gets. I love how she laughs when you tickle her ribs or under her chin! In Tom’s family (I think it’s a Texas thing, but I’m not sure) they call it “stealing her sugar” when they kiss or nibble the baby in a way that makes her giggle.

Amelia’s teachers all agree that she grew longer in the week that school was closed. She has been blowing them away with her new, wide smile and her ever more confident manner. This week she’s started sleeping on her belly at school, which was a big deal and I think gets her to sleep faster there. (This does not work at home, but lots of things that work at school don’t work at home.) I feel really lucky that the women she spends so much time with at the Montessori school are so genuinely loving and interested in our darling girl. It makes me feel much more confident about our decision to have her there, despite the almost crippling cost of it.

Amelia started crying when I left to go to work today. When the babysitter arrived, Amelia asked me to pick her up by raising her arms like she does. I did, and gave her a kiss and a cuddle, and Amelia smiled at the babysitter. As soon as I put her down, she started getting upset. Then the babysitter picked her up and Amelia was wiggling and leaning away from her, looking at me with pleading eyes. She started really bawling when I opened the door to leave, and I could hear her outside the house as I got into my car.

I know we’re right on schedule for separation anxiety and this is perfectly normal, but I still feel like the Worst Mom Ever. Tom has volunteered to wait for the babysitter tomorrow, so we can share in the misery. He’s pretty awesome like that.

Does anyone want to pay me a couple of thousand a month to stay home and care for my baby? Oh, and I’ll need health insurance with that.